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Guard Dog

by Searows

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eva <3
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eva <3 there’s a hauntingly beautiful picture that comes to me when listening to this album, not unlike the cover art. these songs feel like so many memories i can’t recall for whatever reason and i really treasure it <3 Favorite track: Coming Clean.
eli_newwarmmountain
eli_newwarmmountain thumbnail
eli_newwarmmountain this album makes me feel seen like no other, and stirs up the vibrance of emotions that have for years remained absent in my depression. Not only the joy I find in the sheer beauty of the vocals and instrumentals, but also the deep longing and sorrow that comes from the lyrics as well as the vocals and instrumentals. Nothing makes me cry- no matter how badly I want to cry, if only to feel human. This album makes me cry, in a way that I am grateful, in a way that makes me feel alive.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Searows' debut full-length 'Guard Dog' on Compact Disc in a 4-panel CMYK wallet featuring Alec's original illustrations. Packaging is plastic-free and printed on recycled cardboard with non-toxic, vegetable-based, biodegradable inks. Add a note if you’d like it signed by Alec.

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1.
Start 01:25
2.
Roadkill 04:40
I wanna be roadkill Find me a mile up ahead Lying there on the roadside Say "dont worry now, it's already dead." Pick me up like I'm fragile Carry me to the nearest tree Or bury me under gravel Just deep enough so nobody finds me I've tried to describe just how carefully I would carry you And maybe I'm crazy But some part of me had to care for you What if I give up too soon A race horse with nothing to win Running just cause I'm supposed to Cuase they bet too much money on it And I've got nothing to fight with But I'll do it cause you asked me to A guard dog with a death wish In the center of the ring I lose Ive tried to describe just how carefully I would carry you And maybe I'm crazy But some part of me had to care for you What would it take for me to be cared for too
3.
[Verse 1] I was honest for the second time I guess that wasn't really what you had in mind Said that you could like me if you wanted to Then followed me around until I talked to you And could you tell that you were scaring me? Called me crying, said you thought you were in love with me Cut my hair enough that I won't look the same Maybe it gets easier in seventh grade [Chorus] I’d already had enough then I already gave an answer and still, it wouldn't end You didn't care what I said Guess it was just another rule that you could bend We used to be friends [Verse 2] Even at my best I'm still just small you Dragged me halfway down the hall cause it was easy to What a funny feeling when you're pushed around You don't even know you're falling til you’re on the ground [Chorus] I’d already had enough then I already swore to be the person I’d defend Carry me to the deep end What could be worse than having nothing to depend on We used to be friends [Bridge] You were just waiting on the call I never cared for it at all You were so hopelessly dissolved I never wanted you to take the fall Take the fall
4.
Walk Me Home 04:37
[Verse 1] After the flood comes You and I know There will be waves Enough to carry you And when the moon moves us Out of her sight I’ll play the songs Like the ones she dances to [Chorus] Oh darlin’ Oh darlin’ Will you still walk me home? [Verse 2] It’s gonna rain soon And pull me back in Whatever it takes To fill the shape I'm in And out of your own hands And straight into mine I had the words you’d thought a hundred times [Chorus] Oh darlin’ Oh darlin’ Will you still walk me home? [Bridge] Can my feet touch the bottom? Can see it from all the way down Son of a goddess Who makes the most beautiful sound
5.
Haunted 04:29
[Verse 1] I've been moving In slow motion Keep the lights on So nothing comes in And the prettiest parts are the ones I see When the lightning starts Will you know where to find me? [Chorus] I was trying To be honest I was hoping the house was haunted I still keep you in my locket Don't you ever wish the house was haunted? [Verse 2] The day I swore I saw an angel Making faces from the table Made me question what I believe in Was it my reflection Or somebody looking through it [Chorus] I was trying To be honest I was hoping the house was haunted I still keep you in my locket Don't you ever wish the house was haunted? [Bridge] I don't have a lot to say But I'm still talking anyway I am the master of mistakes I missed the point you tried to make And id forgotten what it felt like to be living like you're dead I am a picture in a movie in a moment in your head [Chorus] I was trying To be honest I was hoping the house was haunted I still keep you in my locket For the day I find the house is haunted For the day I find the house is haunted
6.
[Verse 1] I don’t know what steps to take I do the easy ones until it helps Little acts of conversation I don't think I really like myself Am I comfortable in silence? Or is it eating me alive Nothing’s ever really quiet When you need distraction to survive [Chorus] It's part of me Wouldn't you believe it's nothing? It's all you need When you keep the rain from coming [Verse 2] I'm already going under Nothing I can do but sit and wait Are you really having fun or Do you like becoming what you hate? Am I comfortable in silence Or am I waiting till it ends Nothing’s ever really quiet You were just to stubborn to pretend [Chorus] It's part of me Wouldn't you believe it's nothing? It's all you need When you keep the rain from coming [Bridge] I'm good at letting you go I'm good at letting it get to me I'm good at letting you go No, you were never the enemy
7.
Hold You 05:05
[Verse 1] I used to feel it when I’d wake up The thing you never had to name I made a life I don't remember making Couldn't just let it stay the same We look much different in pictures At least that's what most people say I used to know the person I took after I must’ve let them slip away [Chorus] Cause I wanna know you again And I wanna hold you like you needed then And I wanna know all you know So I can take what you can let go [Verse 2] I turn the pages with the seasons And leave behind what I can't change Until there's nothing left that I believe in I'll leave it just the way it came I'll write enough that it can hold me Until the feeling has a name I wrote the ending but I missed the story I must've been just out of frame [Chorus] Cause I wanna know you again And I wanna hold you like you needed then And I wanna know all you know So I can take what you can let go [Bridge] Don't you wanna know me again Don't you wanna know me Know me again Again (3x)
8.
Villain 04:49
[Verse 1] I guess you thought I could fix the problem You said, “Tell me all that I’d miss.” "I dont know but I'm pretty sure it gets better than this" And maybe I should've stopped believing but I Really wanted to try Said I’d saved While I'm barely staying alive And I knew it the second you walked the door Yeah I had a bad feeling I started a war I'm gonna fuck it all up And I’ll probably pay with my life And I know that you told me That everything's fine But I wrote this story before it was mine And I know there's a villain But I'm worried it's me this time [Chrorus] So fake a better feeling Take me as I am At least I'm only making better plans Turn me into a believer Make me out as some old healer I’ll change for the better And ill even make it last too For you (8x) Turn me into a believer I hardly recognize myself either I’ll change for the better And I’ll even make it last for you
9.
[Verse 1] Do you think about dying? I wanna know what you would say And would you tell me if you're lying? I couldn't stop you anyway We've been watching movies And I've been talking to myself I’d like to think that you knew me Better than anybody else [Chorus] I know you're probably standing there Wishing that I wasn't here You know I’d follow you anywhere So do you honestly believe That I would let you disappear? [Verse 2] I've been sleeping with the lights on And I've been standing at the door You were so easy to hide from But I don't do that anymore And I fixed up all the broken things And I've been carefully content Pretty soon I'm gonna say something That I’ll eventually regret [Chorus] I know you're probably standing there Too far to fall off the edge I would've followed you anywhere Cause if I loved you at the start then I would love you at the end
10.
Coming Clean 06:18
[Verse 1] Find me in the raincoat you could've sworn you were missing We dont talk the whole way home I leave the coat in the kitchen Let me have a few more months I'll talk to you when I'm ready Say “I never got to lose it once” So I do and you let me [Pre Chorus] But is this coming clean Or am I kicking up dirt where I shouldn't? And what’s it gonna mean? I can't fix all the things that you couldn't Do I just end up losing my footing? [Chorus] But I don’t wanna be your angel Wanna see you cut off a limb Nobody wins If I kill you Would I have to forgive you still? [Verse 2] Sterilize the thing you know Give it to somebody whos strong Fallout from the glass you broke There's still a piece in my palm And just like that, we’re starting over Just when we were getting it Fake your death and call it closure Just like we would do when we were kids [Pre Chorus] But is this coming clean Or am I digging up the bodies you buried? And what's this supposed to mean? Am I brave if the noise doesn't scare me? If I make myself easy to carry? [Chorus] But I don’t wanna be your angel Wanna see you cut off a limb Nobody wins If you killed me I would have to forgive you still [Bridge] I would've for it (4x)
11.
Dragon 05:05
[Verse 1] A dress to be buried in Take the rest from me What could I still need? What is rest to me? I'll take the city train To where it used to be Shelter from the bleed Of the old dragon tree [Chorus] And when the autumn comes And it starts mending what you took it from You don’t know the ending It’s impossible, love But you keep on trying anyways Till the feeling fades The feeling fades The feeling fades [Verse 2] Matches to light the flame I'll help you burn it down Even take the blame We're really in it now And well plan a new escape Run until we cant Story for the ages Hand in unsinkable hand [Chorus] And when the autumn comes with all its endings Just the bitter ones So I keep on pretending its impossible, love To keep you from trying anyways Would you believe its fate [Bridge] And everything’s different Let me take it from here It all starts with a lesson But you dont hear it make any difference The mission’s never been more clear We're not all dying here
12.
North Star 05:07
[Verse 1] Talk to the moon While I wait For a ride home I’d stay but I dont wanna bore you I guess it can wait You’ll be there when I get home You're all I can see from the rearview Stay right where I can see you Count all the places I think we should run to Somewhere with nothing to do It's always too loud hope the noise doesn't scare you I dont know what else came before you You must know that I just adore you [Chorus] And I want you to have it all All you ever needed The minute that you fall And I wanna be a savior I dont wanna need anything When you're all that I've got to lose [Verse 2] Stay on the line I just want you to be here I still see the light through the window Wait for the tide to come in And my feet hurt We walked all the way on the same road I promise it won't be too long though [Chorus] And I want you to have it all All you ever needed The minute that you fall And I wanna be a savior I dont wanna need anything When you're that I've got to lose [Bridge] But dont you ever tire of all that? Picking up the pieces you dont have to alone When you're the place I wanna go And if you ever wanna fall back I'll let you go But when it's said and done I’ll be the north star that takes you home
13.
Crybaby 04:01
Is it just like me To say this? Just what you'd expect From the latest Version If I knew what it was I would tell you If the door wasn't shut I’d let you in Take your sweet time I'll give you all of mine Take what I can get And let you have the rest What do I do here? What do I do? Am I Too sad to be here? Am I Too sad to be alive? I dont wanna be I try But I wanna stay alive I do, I do, I do At least I try to Want to Do you have a place for me Do I have to become smaller Would you see me differently If I made myself taller instead?

credits

released September 30, 2022

Written, performed, produced and mixed by Alec Duckart
Mastered by Adam Gonsalves

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Searows Portland, Oregon

Searows is the indie/folk project of Alec Duckart (he/him), a Pacific Northwest singer-songwriter and guitarist.

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